It happened.
Oct. 11th, 2010 10:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thedarlingtonshewolfAnd everything changed. How wonderful!
And because I'm sworn to secrecy, I'm not writing it here. I don't want to put hands all over this memory, this moment that has lasted days now. I'm lazing in the sun today, getting over it but not. I don't want to get over it. I want to last in this apple shiny moment, leaves all crisp and rustling, wind moving, I want it to last...
Rebirth they call it. Yes, it feels like that. Not like the old me dying, but somehow, some slough of old self, old skin, has occurred. Finally a lot of chatter is stilled in my head, just old sad ideas. They aren't gone, not wiped. I can call them back at any time, not one thing has been lost. I'm just at peace, feeling more powerful. Free. One particular chain is broken, and won't bind me any more unless I insist on locking myself to it.
This is a good day. I know there will be bad days again, but this is a good day. And there will be days and days like this.
I'm happy.
And because I'm sworn to secrecy, I'm not writing it here. I don't want to put hands all over this memory, this moment that has lasted days now. I'm lazing in the sun today, getting over it but not. I don't want to get over it. I want to last in this apple shiny moment, leaves all crisp and rustling, wind moving, I want it to last...
Rebirth they call it. Yes, it feels like that. Not like the old me dying, but somehow, some slough of old self, old skin, has occurred. Finally a lot of chatter is stilled in my head, just old sad ideas. They aren't gone, not wiped. I can call them back at any time, not one thing has been lost. I'm just at peace, feeling more powerful. Free. One particular chain is broken, and won't bind me any more unless I insist on locking myself to it.
This is a good day. I know there will be bad days again, but this is a good day. And there will be days and days like this.
I'm happy.
